A New Season

It feels like we have become empty nesters all over again! The role of caregiver to an adult parent is a tenuous situation--giving orders, holding the line for responsibility and/or change and keeping tabs on her/him is so unnatural. Our culture doesn't give enough respect to the elderly but, given the opportunity to have authority over them puts a child under an emotional strain.

We are parents and know the problems all parents experience: pride, disappointment; new life, early death; when to push and when hands-off is best. But we are ill equipped to know when and how to prod a stubborn parent to eat or good to bed when tired. Being stubborn from a child is normal; defiance from a parent, well, could raise the ugly head of revenge in the child. That's a lot of responsibility for anyone to have!

Today Dave's mom was ushered back to Kansas City to join an Alzheimer's Unit of others who need more specialized care than can be given by a child and other family. We dropped Mom and Nancy at the Sacramento airport and left to return home to pack for our move. However, upon encouragement from Nancy, we decided to give our freedom a test. We turned around and went to the IKEA store, IHOP, McDonald's and Home Depot--never giving a thought to going home in case Mom needed us or was acting out with the hired caregiver. I'm afraid I acted selfishly and even childishly; however, the emotional freedom was heady.

I don't understand it but I did experience again that same feeling I did when the last child went to college. My life is my life again! But there is a nagging thought, "Is that true?" And, in truth, I realize that it is just another change. We still have those whose lives we touch everyday. So, because God is in charge of our lives, we desire that our lives will be a conduit for His love to reach more people than just our family. We are not in charge of our lives whether raising children, taking care of elderly parents, or visiting our neighbors.